And I don’t either. It’s suppose to be beautiful, warm and windy. “But at least they won’t be able to see your tears; so smile!” is something he would tell me as he hugged me. God do I miss you.

I’m not going to apologize for being me. When I got the call this morning that my friend didn’t make it, I had simply shut down. I don’t give a damn about anything or anyone right now. Leave me alone. Let me suffer alone. Don’t talk to me or touch me. I’m not going to acknowledge anyone or anything because my mind is too clouded with thoughts and pleas for something that isn’t going to happen; to have my best friend back. So please. Just go away. I’m not worth your time.